
Horrorscopes

&
Terror Readings
By The Contessa Bledoutzi Tumuchy

my darrrrlings,
a monthly message


cancer & the chariot
My darrrrlings, July has been a miserable month. There is nothing much to say here since it is almost over at the time of this posting (Empira summoned me much too late and booked me on that horrid flight) and the month is practically in the throes of its death now miserably melting in this Godforsaken heat wave. The only ones happy are the alligators surrounding the Alcatraz of the swamplands. Where are my witches and why haven’t you taken care of that little situation out in the Everglades? This is the Cancerian month of the zodiac and we can all learn from the crab, which is a resilient little creature both on land and at sea. The crab, as does the tarot of the month, The Chariot, reminds us all to persevere in the face of adversity and that’s what we must all do. Do you hear that Mags the Seraphim? All of us. The Collective. Be the crab just try not to catch any.
June 22 - July 22

leo & strength
My darrrlings there will be a New Moon in Leo and I’m not talking about DiCaprio’s pale pasty buttocks. It’s time to put on your shiniest black frocks and pretend you are a lion or a lioness or whatever pronoun floats in your moat. The tarot of the month is Strength. Now is the time for us all to show courage with compassion. It gives us all the power to overcome our obstacles – but be forewarned pulverizing your enemies into submission will carry great consequences. Pounce like the wild cat that embodies this tarot but remember that you can eat your prey without making them die. Beware of the blood moon on the 9th – it drives vampires to overindulge and witches to run naked through the woods – violence is never the answer and unprotected sex without reproductive rights is as dangerous as living in the Middle Ages…I know that era, my darlings, it sucked.
July 23 - August 22



dark thoughts
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